Make Affirmations work for me: Avoid the pitfalls and make affirmations part of your smart life.
Affirmations are positive statements spoken out loud, written down or listened to, which describe how we want to be. it’s as easy as that! Well not quite there are a number of common pitfalls associated with affirmations which may result in us giving up before with have even begun.
If we truly want affirmations to transform our lives there are a few key points to remember and some smart tips worth considering. This is a long article, if you are new to affirmations or have found they haven't worked well in the past please take the time, affirmations will pay us back ten fold for the effort and commitment we put in.
Our aim with affirmation is to consciously create new beliefs and thought patterns in our mind, only when these are accepted will they really begin to take effect, and this doesn’t happen overnightLike starting any healthy new habit we might start with enthusiasm but it’s not easy to keep the motivation through the period where nothing much seems to be changing.
It can be hard to find the time in our busy lives so Our aim with affirmation is to consciously create new beliefs and thought patterns in our mind, only when these are accepted will they really begin to take effect, and this doesn’t happen overnight.
Like starting any healthy new habit we might start with enthusiasm but it’s not easy to keep the motivation through the period where nothing much seems to be changing.
Make Affirmations work for me: Incorporate affirmations into your day
We are all of us living busy lives and it’s easy to forget about affirmations, but if we make a commitment to use them for at least four weeks we will soon see how the benefits well outweighs any temporary inconvenience. Make it a habit by choosing two specific times a day to think of them. First thing in the morning is a great idea, a lovely way to start our day and last thing at night means our affirmations are fresh and can sink into our unconscious mind as we fall asleep, but anytime that suits your lifestyle.
Make Affirmations work for me: Make time and space
But It’s not just forgetting that may get in the way to, there are sometimes deeper motivations at play, meaning it's harder to make affirmations work for me. Forewarned is forearmed.
Make Affirmations work for me: Our Inner critic strikes again!
We all have an inner critic, she’s not a bad gal, but she is critical and can be overly officious with her paper work.
Think of her as P.A. our unconscious mind (The big boss). It's her job to check what information is brought to the bosses’ attention. She also listens into what we think and say about ourselves and when we start repeating our new affirmations; for example; ‘I am smart, competent and beautiful’
She scrutinises the statement with her critical eye, she’ll sound it out, turn it round, consider if it can be true. She checks it against information kept in the vast database of our mind, containing our memories and experiences, our negative thoughts and limiting beliefs, she looks at our insecurities and self doubts. When she has done she delivers her findings back to us in a familiar little voice.
When you first start your affirmations that little critical voice might say;
Inner critic: ‘I am smart? Competent? Beautiful? Bull-S**t I am!‘.
This is why often a new affirmation can sound ridiculous to us, like a big fat lie, absurdly chirpy, or unrealistic to our ear. Our inner critic is being overly critical, don’t let her stop you before you’ve even begun because she can be persuaded by our persistence.
Keep saying it until it becomes comfortable and natural, after a while our inner critic will even begin to enjoy it. However if our Inner critic persists, a little mindful awareness can go a long way.
When we hear Inner critic's voice bad mouthing our affirmation, take a moment to hear her whole critique. Try writing down the affirmation and then below it write ‘This is Bull-shit because...’and write whatever you feel to be true.
Us: ‘I am Smart, competent and beautiful’
Our Inner Critic: ‘Bull-Sh**t’
Us: ' Go on then, why is my affirmation Bull-Sh**t?'
Our Inner-Critic: ‘Well firstly we are not smart; remember the time in Mrs Brown’s maths class when we couldn’t do that long division.’
‘Secondly we are not competent, remember the time we failed our driving test when we messed up the parallel park.’
‘And we certainly are not beautiful otherwise Chris Saunders would have asked us to dance at our leaving prom rather than Tamara Roberts. I’ve checked all evidence, It’s very clear the affirmation is a big fat lie’.
Well this type of evidence would not stand up in a court of law!
It may just be a silly example but it highlights how our inner critic might make decisions - and I think it’s clear that none of us want to live our lives based on what our inner critic decides. So when we have a list of negative reasons why our affirmations are, as she puts it ‘Bull Sh**t' there are two good options;
Make affirmations work for me: Tip 1.Get rid of the negative reasons! Cross them out neatly with a ruler, scribble them out erratically with a pen, use tip-ex, tear them up, set light to them (safely please). Whatever way feels best but now you know them so do not repeat them or think on them again.
Make affirmations work for me: Tip 2. Write down a counter argument.
After the counter argument destroy the negative statements as above.
Remember never take what your inner critic words as gospel, she often make mistakes. We are in charge, not our inner critic, time to let her know who is boss, let go and keep saying your positive affirmations all the same.
Make affirmations work for me: Play Nicely
Affirmations are a tool to improve our lives. Please do not create affirmations that focus negativity towards someone else in anyway;
I am confident and brave enough to tell Susan in accounts that she is a stupid bitch!
This is not a good Affirmation.
Focussing on positive improvement at the expense of someone else’s happiness or well being is massively counter-productive, it will only feed deeply into our negativity and further lead to eroding our self- esteem, It is leading in the opposite direction to a positive mindset and not a place us Smart girls want to go. A far better example would be;
I am confident and brave and am able to let go any negativity I felt towards Kate.
Make Affirmations work for me: We can’t always get what we want.
We cannot use affirmations to make anyone other than ourselves actively say do or think anything.
Remember we cannot make someone fall in love us, fancy us, give us gifts, etc. Affirmations are connected to us and our personal development, by focussing on our goals, improving our behaviours and detoxify our minds of negative self talk we can transform ourselves in beneficial ways and as we do others will instinctively change around us in correspondence to our new positive behaviour.
Make Affirmations work for me: Share wisely
It’s great to give and receive support from like-minded friends or colleagues through the affirmation process. However consider carefully who we share our personal affirmations with as others negativity can bring us down. There are many people in our lives who through genuine love, fear or active sabotage will hamper our attempts to improve our lives for the better. By sharing our affirmation we are potentially sharing our deepest desires and vulnerabilities.
Be respectful to yourself by choosing carefully who to share this information with, a supportive encouraging friend is a gift indeed, but with a throw-away negative comment, a thoughtless joke or a downright cruel intention a friend can undo so much hard work.
Make affirmations work for me: Be creative
All of us are unique and have developed a unique variety of negative self-talk and so our positive affirmations need personal and tailored to our unique set of circumstances. Luckily it is quick and easy to make your own, find out How to write Affirmations
Because sometimes it's hard to find the time to make affirmations work for me, Hypnosis 4 smart girls has made it a whole lot easier. Find below a lists of the best positive affirmations for a whole range of life areas. Pick and choose any that appeal to, use them as a foundation to create our own or just get some ideas and be inspired.
If you're really short of time you can listen or watch your affirmations;
Positive affirmations not for you?
If Affirmations are not for you, no problem but don't give up find something else that does work for you. (However if the very idea of thinking positive nice thoughts about yourself is abhorrent or impossible for you to comprehend this may imply a severe lack of self-esteem or depressive thoughts, don't suffer in silence, help is out there).
If you are feeling deeply unhappy, desperate or out-of-control, Hypnosis 4 smart girls is not what you need at this time. Don't suffer in silence, speak to someone; trusted friend, colleague, family member or G.P. However bleak things seem, help is out there for you so please keep looking. Click here for suggestions of where to start.